Tuesday, September 30, 2014

The Cat Call or Objectify this Feminist, please!

There has been a lot of social media surfacing of late around cat calling and the implications it has for SOME  women.

I am going to start by disclaiming the following: anytime someone feels unsafe because of the actions of another, it isn't ok. Period. If a person is repeatedly harassed and this leads to a feeling of unease and danger, then the unwanted gesture is inappropriate and unwanted.

Now, I have had the most unique new revelations thus summer, especially in the last month or so. I have felt invisible. When I was 386 people looked at me. They always did. I didn't see it as negative because in many ways I didn't feel negative about who I was, the life I was living. I've been successful at work and in my marriage.

At about 290 I get the most attention historically here in NYC for my body. I have curves and those were noticed in a sexual way and I liked that level of being noticed even if it was not something I was taking advantage of, if you catch my drift. Now, at my current weight and feeling amazing and beautiful I have never felt more invisible in my city. People don't look at me on the train or on the street. I move through train stations without any effort or resistance. My body goes past the turnstile with ease. I am invisible. I am just one of the hundreds of thousands of people moving around in NYC every day and I go unnoticed.
So what was I expecting?  Maybe it's that I didn't grow up here and I make eye contact and smile at people (sometimes).  I see and notice people all the time.  I make up stories about who they are. I wonder what they are thinking,  who they love and who loves them, and what a makes them laugh.

I also notice good looking people. NYC is a place full of beautiful people, all the time, of every shade and shape. Among the beautiful people I feel invisible.

What does this have to do with cat calling. I would love to be called out, to suddenly go from invisible women to, well, visible. I do claim feminism as something I believe in. It's not able being or not being a feminist. It's personal and private and I dislike that catcalling has been made into something that feminists especially have to rise up against.
Own your own shit, women. Like it if you want, hate it if you don't. Cat calling is a tasteless compliment. Take it or leave it. In the meantime this feminists is going to enjoy any objectification that comes her way.