On the happy side, I no longer have ANY anxiety about traveling- flying specifically. In the past there were so many worries about everything from fitting in the tiny airplane seats to a more focused worry about not wanting my body to be imposed on the people around me (no one likes to sit next to a heavy person on a plane, no one). The days of empty seats on flight are all but gone and the seats, as they were on our Delta flight from JFK to SEA were uber close together and there was little leg room in economy class. Now I comfortably sit in the middle seat while Charlie sits in the window (his preference). I had cheese and crackers on the plane coming out (airplane meal) that was just the right size. Overall, flying is now ok.
The holidays prove to be a bit more challenging but my family has been very accommodating. I did have a first though- we went out to a beautiful dinner Saturday night at a local Italian place and my dinner, three small medallions of beef in a Gorgonzola sauce with some penne was amazing- I had one piece of beef and a few pieces of pasta and that was it for me. Got to share the rest with Papa Towne. I left a lot of the past on my plate though. When the server came at the end of the meal he asked why I didn't finish (implying that something may be wrong) but I shared that I had WLS and I ate and enjoyed what I could. That shut him up.
The one thing I wanted to do while I was home was make Forgotten Kisses with Mom but we ran out of time so I made them myself the last day we were in Seattle. The weather was perfect for making the fluffy confections (dry and cool). They came out perfect :-).
Charlie and I were also able to go to Golden Gardens on the Sound the last day and caught this beautiful moment at the park. It was cold and sunny, perfect.
I have been thinking about resolutions and new goals for 2015. 2014 what such a huge year, transformative. This weekend I got a haircut, always a good way to kick off and this morning I cleaned out my closet. I had slowly been clearing out the clothes that are just too big. This morning, I purged the remainder- in one pile: clothes to donate, in the other pile: clothes I love than I want to alter or that I will wear big. I have to admit I was hit with a HUGE wave of anxiety and the though that rushed through my head was, this will be so expensive to replace when I gain the weight back, maybe I should just keep it in a box. Yo-yo mentality. I am letting the clothes go. I will take them to the Salvation Army next weekend and hopefully it will go to good use. Lots of new clothing to replace the old and I look forward to losing the last 50 pounds this year and reaching my personal goal. Even if it takes me a year.
Goals for 2015
1. Drink lots of water.
2. Take my vitamins.
3. Lose my last 50 lbs.
4. Do something for myself once a week that is not food related.
5. Be kind to myself.
Here's to a great new year! Cheers!