Saturday, December 12, 2015

The Next Journey

Well friends and family, as I have learned so well this year, there is always something to deal with or handle as we grow up. I know people hate this but, it is what it is. So we deal with fires as they come up. That's life.

I went to see the surgeon on Thursday night and he was great. Thoughtful, informed/informative and cautious. He talked through the cause and effects, the infection I had and what it did and what the course of treatments are, both surgical. It's a little more complicated for me because I have already had surgery on my stomach once. It's not an "undisturbed" stomach so he is sending me to get a CT scan of my abdomen before making a decision about which method of removing my gallbladder is the best/safest. One method is laparoscopic the other involves an incision.  I have to wait now until I get the scan to see what the course of treatment is.  Just like with the cancer, there are steps that have to be taken and the next step can't happen until the one before has been done.  It's a challenge. So we wait...

On the vocal front, I made it through my first week of teaching. By the end of each day, vocally, I am tired. This incision is healing better, faster than the first one.  Maybe the location, maybe the lack of cancer in my body...but the new scar is healing well.  War wounds.



Friday, December 4, 2015

Tired, So Tired.

My body is tired.

Monday I had a hiccup. I was sitting in the coffee shop around the corner, ready to grade papers.  I had enjoyed a croissant and was starting on my coffee when I was hit with a wave a nausea. I got hot an clammy and I was worried that I was going to faint so I quickly packed up and walked the block back home. Charlie was working from home and thankfully so.

I didn't faint, but I went on to be wracked with stomach pain all day.  Now, this has happened from time to time.  I always thought it was just a byproduct of tiny tummy.  I was really good at not overfilling my sleeve, but some foods didn't agree with my body.  I would have to eliminate and then I felt better.

I made it through the day Monday and I was feeling better by Monday night.  Tuesday was ok.

Wednesday I went back to work. Vocally I was doing ok. Horse, but ok.  I taught 2 and 3rd period and it went well.  Then I had a break before advisory.  By the time advisory rolled around at 1:40 I was in so much pain I was in a cold sweat and was struggling to just sit at a desk.  Thankfully the kids just came in and did what they needed to do.  I signed out early and made a last minute appointment with my primary.

It was difficult to get to the Dr.  It was a long ride to Brooklyn.  I told Dr. C., who I really like, about the symptoms I had been experiencing and she did a quick exam.  Pressing around, she told me she thought I might have gallstones.  She sent me over to her ultrasound tech (who was having a really bad day).  She did the exam and then I went back to wait for the results.  Dr. C said there are 5 gallstones and an infection.

Next steps: 2 different antibiotics 3x a day for 7 days.  And a referral for surgery.  Yes, another surgery.

I had a pretty legit melt down on the corner of Willoughby and Jay St. in downtown Brooklyn after I left her office. The nice thing about crying in NYC is that no one is phased and everyone has done it. The prospect of another surgery so soon is overwhelming. My body needs a break.
 
I am home again today, Friday, after a REALLY rough night.  I made the mistake of eating solid food yesterday and paid for it.  I am on liquids/soft food (think yogurt) until this infection is cleared up (this is of my own design). I am trying not to be frustrated or disappointed, but I admit, it is challenging.  In light of everything that is going on in the world- this seems small.  It's my journey though and a truly ponderous one at that.

I am grateful to Charlie and Rose for taking such good care of me.  It's the little things.

xo,
M