Friday, February 6, 2015

Collecting Ones Self

First and foremost, thank you to everyone for words of support and encouragement, affirmations, being pissed, and feeling all the feelings with me. It's hard to find someone who has not been impacted by cancer-directly or indirectly. In some ways the the camaraderie that comes from identification and understanding has helped tremendously this week and in the weeks leading up to my diagnosis, which was swathed in so much fear of the unknown.  Knowing offered release of so much energy I had been holding so tightly. Release allows forward mobility.

It's been frustrating to hear people say things like "it's the best cancer to have" if you have to have cancer....this article was in the +The Huffington Post  today. I heard those words come out of my own mouth after I had told a friend, who was visibly upset when hearing the news.  I found myself comforting and wanting to take care and reassure- which I am sure was as much for me as it was for him.  I still have so many questions and so much I don't understand.  I was so shocked after my PCP called Monday that I didn't even ask questions- and I am not kicking myself as it is the weekend. 

I was able to get into see an ENT surgeon next Thursday.  He has a long wait to get into see him and many people on the back end greased some wheels to help get me in (the Dr. will be away the week we are off so this was a lucky break).  Until then, I don't know what is next as far as treatment and moving forward.  More waiting.

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